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SPIKING STIS. Rates of all STIs have increased dramatically among all older adults, says Kwong — particularly chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. Many of the STIs are asymptomatic, he says,

meaning people don’t know they have them, which is one of the reasons transmission is so high. The good news is that today there are medications that treat most STIs. Gonorrhea, Kwong says,

is the outlier, because the medications used to treat it are becoming less effective. So what can you do? GET TO KNOW YOUR POTENTIAL PARTNER, INCLUDING THEIR MENTAL STATE. Neuropsychologist

Hayley B. Kristinsson says that some people with cognitive disorders, particularly men, experience an increase in disinhibition or impulsivity, which could explain why some of the men

you’ve observed flit from woman to woman. “Some people become more sexually seeking, more overtly sexual, and they may engage in unsafe sex practices,” says Kristinsson, a health sciences

assistant clinical professor at the University of California, Irvine.  Her advice: Take the time to get to know the person to get a better idea of whether there are any underlying medical

issues or if this is just the way they’ve always acted. “If you know someone has engaged in risky practices or been with a lot of different partners, this is information you need to have,”

Kristinsson says. GET TESTED FOR STIS. Before engaging in penetrative or oral sex, Harris suggests getting tested yourself and asking for test results from a new partner. “If you’re brand

new to this, requesting test results won’t feel comfortable right away,” she says. “But there’s a lot of fun to be had if you can get over that leap.” Harris suggests saying something like:

“I’d like to show you my test results. What about you? I’d like you to get tested, too.” If your potential partner balks at the idea, then good riddance. “Folks who don’t care [about] what

you need to feel safe also don’t care what you need to feel pleasure,” Harris says. If you have more than one sexual partner (or believe your partner does), Harris recommends getting tested

every three months.