Reader TTS

Years ago, I wrote a magazine piece about an edgy art exhibit inspired by the penis. My prudish editor replaced each penis reference with male member. Worst edit ever.  Judging from our

inbox here at In the Mood, what the penis — yes, penis! — can and can’t do when you hit 50-plus is of great interest to many of you.   This week, our sex experts weigh in on ejaculatory

control and other ways to keep your partner from reaching the finish line a little too soon.     I AM IN A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH AN OLDER MAN WHO ORGASMS QUICKLY — LEAVING ME WANTING

MORE. I CAN ALWAYS USE A SEX TOY, WHICH I DO. HOW CAN WE KEEP HIM FROM COMING SO QUICKLY?  First off, try to think of this not only as a problem but an opportunity to make your sex life even

better. As with anything else, it starts with a conversation.  EASE INTO THE CONVERSATION. Certified sex therapist Nan Wise suggests starting with something like, "I really enjoy our

sex. I'm so into our relationship and I would love to talk to you about how we can explore and experiment together. Are you open to talking about us collaborating on making sex more

fun?"  IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL EVERYONE WINS. Certified sexologist Susan Milstein offers this reminder: It's not game over when your partner comes.   "Our problem as a

culture is that when a penis comes, it's over," she says. "There's zero reason why after he comes, he can't keep doing things on her, to her, with her." Among

her suggestions: manually stimulate her, use sex toys on her, use your mouth.  FOCUS ON YOUR ORGASM FIRST. Another option: Because women typically take longer than men to reach their

"peak pleasure point," certified sex therapist Rosara Torrisi suggests focusing on your orgasm first, and then his.   Plus, she says the likelihood of timing your orgasms to

"line up" is unrealistic and burdensome.  When you're really turned on and close to coming, put his penis inside you. As certified sex therapist Chris Fariello, founder of the

Philadelphia Institute for Individual, Relational & Sex Therapy puts it: "Save penetration for last and even if it lasts only minutes or seconds, she ends up with a big bang."