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For Sam Shimer, 60, very few people knew that his wife, Deborah, had been ill with bile duct cancer when he posted news to both his and Deborah’s Facebook pages that she had died. Or maybe

you’re just looking for a place to dump emotions that feel too heavy to carry alone. “Some people [write] long posts and say, ‘I don’t need advice. I don’t need anything. I just needed to

get this off my chest,’” says Moffa, who has a chapter on navigating social media amidst grief in her book _Moving On Doesn’t Mean Letting Go_. TAKE A BEAT BEFORE YOU POST Moffa cautions

against feeling pressured to share more than you normally would on social media — a slippery slope when in a vulnerable state. Lisa Soukup, 55, an educator from Palatine, Illinois, lost her

husband of 18 years, Jack Netter, in August 2022 — seven months after he was diagnosed with glioblastoma brain cancer. At first, she sent a post to her immediate connections. Then she waited

a day or two before making it public. That process gave her time to prepare for the responses she doesn’t care for and how to handle them. She urges people who are grieving and posting to

be prepared for comments such as “This should be in therapy” or “Are you going to harm yourself?’”  “At one point, I posted, ‘I’m going to keep posting now that Jack is gone. If this makes

you uncomfortable, please feel free to unfollow me,’” she says. It’s also good to take time to consider how others who are also grieving your loved one might feel about a post, says James.

In the early days of being a widow, out of respect, DeVito almost always ran what she wrote by her three children, who were young adults, before posting. “Yes, this was happening to me, but

it was not only happening to me.” STICK WITH POSITIVE POSTS — AND ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO DO THE SAME Shimer recommends sharing happy memories of someone you’ve lost, then asking others to do

the same. Shimer estimates he’s written more than 50 posts since Deborah passed six years ago. He often posts videos of storms outside his condominium window and writes about how he

visualized Deborah “riding the lightning” now because that’s something she would do. Soukup remembers being grateful to those people she didn’t even know —from Jack’s life before they knew

each other, and from his work — who reached out to say they knew him and, sometimes, to share a meaningful story. “That can be very calming and comforting, because it reminds you that your

person had a place in the world and people haven’t forgotten them,” she says.