
Recognizing military and veteran family caregivers
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Rocio Alvarado, 42, of Long Beach, California, met her Marine husband, Brian, 39, while he was on active duty. In 2008, while back from two tours in Iraq, he was diagnosed with head and neck
cancer, which was treated and was pronounced in remission. The next year, odd symptoms began appearing — rashes on his face, overall soreness in his body, swelling around his eyes in the
morning. His weight began to drop dramatically, and Rocio pushed the doctors for answers. A frustrating yearlong medical journey brought a diagnosis of dermatomyositis, an autoimmune disease
that affects the muscles and skin. Brian couldn't lift his arms, bathe alone or put on his shoes. “I had to help him with so many basic tasks,” Rocio says. And yet she doesn't use
the word “caregiver” to describe herself. "For me, what I do is simply part of the vows I took,” she says. “This is what we promised to each other, and that's the way it should
be. You don't walk out the minute things get hard." Rocio and Brian's 13-year-old daughter, Rhiana, has only known her father in and out of hospitals. And she has had her own
challenges: Bullied by other kids for learning issues at school, Rhiana was first diagnosed with ADHD and then as autistic and with borderline intellectual functioning. Rocio made the
decision to homeschool their daughter in addition to taking care of her husband. "It was hard to access the right services for our daughter, but now she is starting physical therapy and
counseling,” Rocio says. “She is finally getting in touch with her feelings and able to voice what is helpful to her. That helps me, too." Rocio is aware that many people might look at
her family and wonder what makes their relationship work. "My husband and I have always tried to laugh,” she says. “Life is already full of daily stresses, so learning to laugh at
yourself and with each other helps so much." One of Rocio's coping strategies to make time for herself is a long, hot bath. "I can be in the tub for two hours, listening to
music, reading, scrolling through my phone as the water gets cold. It's my idea of bliss,” she says. Projects, especially during the pandemic, have helped keep her sane. She started
painting her daughter's room and ended up including the living room and dining room. Brian's disease is an ever-changing condition. There is no cure, only treatment that can
stabilize and prolong his life. “We are good right now,” Rocio says. “When it feels tough, I have my moments alone to talk to God and pray. This is the life I am able to carry … and we are
here, 15 years later. We learn to take the good with the bad and the bad with the good." Courtesy Precious Goodson THE UNEXPECTED CAREGIVER It was love at first sight when Precious
Goodson, now 50, from Newnan, Georgia, met her husband Leonard Goodson, 54, in a laundromat. Lenny proposed to her two weeks later, although she made him wait two years before getting
married. He had already served in the military as a medic when they met. A few years later he signed up for National Guard duty, a commitment of one weekend a month and a way to honor the
bonds he felt to the military. But in 2008, he called to tell her he was receiving a promotion to sergeant and would be deployed to Afghanistan. Precious was upset that she hadn't been
part of the decision and was unfamiliar with military culture and life. At the time, she was teaching elementary school and had just finished a few advanced degrees as a teacher. Sending her
husband off to war was something she had not imagined when she took her vows.