Reader TTS

HOSTS SHOULD PING NONRESPONDERS. “If you’re hosting the party and haven’t heard back from people, it’s OK to do a follow-up and ask — without being accusatory — if they’re coming.”     GIFTS

IN GENERAL “Sometimes something’s a cliché because it’s true,” Senning says, “and one of the oldest clichés about gift giving is that it’s the thought that counts.” It’s so true, he adds.

PUT THOUGHT INTO IT. “You want to think about the person and you want that gift to reflect that forethought, a generosity of spirit, a little bit of care and investment in the relationship,

and what you know about the person. That is much more important than the dollar value or the particular thing that’s exchanged.” GIFT CARDS. “There’s nothing wrong with them, but make an

effort to make it personal in some way  — at least jot a little note with it. Maybe you want to get them a book but don’t know what they like to read, so give them a gift card to a local

bookstore. That’s one way to personalize the thought.” THANK-YOU NOTES Written thank-you notes are a simple way to express gratitude when a gift isn’t given in person. It’s also thoughtful

to send one when someone has done something especially kind or helpful for you.    WHEN YOU DON’T NEED TO WRITE ONE. “If you’ve thanked someone in person, warmly, generously — you’ve looked

them in the eye, you’ve smiled — you’re probably covered,” Senning says. “Most people will acknowledge that as the most meaningful, significant way to thank someone.”  WHEN YOU DO. “If you

haven’t had that opportunity, you absolutely want to write a note. They don’t need to be a big deal — the person’s name at the top, then two, three sentences. If you don’t send one, the

‘thank-you note police’ will not come take you away, but how good does it feel when you get a little note in the mail? Isn’t it nice to think about making someone else feel good?”  EMAILED

THANK-YOUS. “An emailed thank-you message can feel impersonal to people. I’m not saying don’t use it, but I like the idea of sort of notching it up. The handwritten note really tells someone

that you’ve invested a little of yourself in that thanks.” EVERYTHING ELSE Just remember the core principles of good etiquette in any social situation, Senning says: “Consideration, respect

and honesty. They’re the same wherever you go.”