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If they don’t have a ready response, think about people you might know who could use their help with yardwork or around the office. Or you might offer to pay for a couple of extra hands to

help with projects around the house. Just be sure you’re not so overambitious in your assistance that you invite underperformance, warns Schafer. Or that you’re simply handing over money for

new clothes or video games when asked. “I use the expression ‘Fat dogs don’t hunt,’ ” she says, explaining that kids aren’t motivated to look for a job if their parents buy them everything

they want. “Job one is for parents to step back a bit. It might look a little ugly and sloppy for a little bit, but when the rubber hits the road, you’d be amazed at how kids suddenly pick

up initiative and get stuff done when you stop rescuing them.” ‘NAGGING DOESN’T WORK’ Brice Meade is trying to get his daughter to be more productive. Courtesy of Michele Ashlee Meade Brice

Meade, 50, has a tactic for helping to motivate his 18-year-old daughter, who just finished her freshman year at college — and is in danger of flunking out. He made it clear that she’s

welcome to stay with him as long as she holds down her summer job as a camp counselor and saves half of her earnings in case she winds up having to leave school. In the meantime, Meade, who

lives in Rochester, New York, is trying to inspire his daughter to be less idle when she’s at home. Understanding that entertainment these days often translates to staring at screens inside,

he’ll knock on her bedroom door when the sun is out and say, “It’s a beautiful day. Want to go outside?” Or if she says she’s hungry but can’t find anything to eat, he’ll ask, “Want to go

grab dinner somewhere? Then we can walk it off.” “I have learned at this point in life that nagging doesn’t work,” he says. “Instead, I look for opportunities to employ coaching techniques.”

And, Meade admits, “I’m not going to lie. Strategically, I don’t keep a lot of food in the house, so we can have those moments.” MODEL APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR