Reader TTS

I hear this all the time: "There are no good men out there"; or this: "There are no good women." Usually the speaker illustrates one of the assertions with a sad or funny

dating story that ends either with resignation to single status or with anger at the depressing situation he or she "has to" endure.  I listen sympathetically but don't share

the conclusions. SEE ALSO: 8 WAYS TO FIND LOVE ONLINE. Mature singles have plenty of great people to choose from; but of course, you have to know where to look.You already know that bars

are a bad place if you want to find someone who is serious about finding a life partner (anyway, they're usually full of twenty-somethings who'd consider you an antique). You might

have exhausted your local religious establishment or community singles organization. RELATED * Dating after 50. READ * Man's guide to dating. READ * Beware of online dating scams. READ

* Introducing the kids to a significant other. READ * Sexting not just for kids. READ Still, don't fret. Here are my favorite locations and some tactics to help you do well once you

get there. MEET ONLINE For sheer numbers of eligible, motivated people, you can't beat online dating websites. I know some of you have had bad experiences, but the good experiences

outweigh those, from what your fellow singletons tell me. To increase your chances for success, learn how online dating works. Pay attention to the person's writing — serious people

tend to write quite a bit about who they are and who they are looking for. Be honest about who you are, about how you will be perceived, and about the kind of person who would appreciate

you. You also need to stay open, warm, and flexible. Don't use a long, involved list of requirements that will narrow your choices down to four people on the entire planet. Instead

select only your core, must-have traits.     You can go to boutique online dating sites that select for people who want relationships and are so motivated that they will pay premium prices

to find them. You probably know some of the more popular ones, but there are smaller, targeted sites you might not have known to try. Some specialty sites include the following: * For horse

lovers, EquestrianSingles.com * For pet owners, DateMyPet.com * For wine lovers, WineLoversMatch.com * For older men and women, SeniorPeopleMeet.com or BabyBoomerPeopleMeet.com If a shared

political philosophy is essential, there are dating hubs that satisfies to your political views. Gays and lesbians are welcome at most of the bigger sites but also have niche sites, such as

GaySinglesOnline.com. Whatever your passion, or whatever your requirements, there is a site that caters to your preferences. MEET AT SMALL, SPECIAL EVENTS Everywhere, people hold events that

draw older singles. These give you opportunities to meet people who share your interests. I recently attended a few Read Dating meetings that my local library system sponsored with

PerfectMatch.com, a site where I serve as a relationship adviser. One of the meetings was poorly attended, but at the other, more than 100 people showed. That one seemed to go extremely

well. People sat at tables organized by favorite book or genre. Many of the people there looked interesting to me. Try going to a small blues or jazz night at a local restaurant. I recently

did and saw quite a few singles age 50+. Enjoying the ambiance—great crowd, food, drinks, and music—several singles paired up and danced. If the weather is amenable, join an outdoor sporting

club. Sailing clubs usually have more male than female members, and after races, they often hold informal dinners where people mix and swap stories. If sailing isn't your thing, think

about golf, hiking, mountaineering, skiing, or softball. In some cities, clubs for singles do a variety of outings—ranging from a night at the opera to sports competitions. I spoke at one of

these clubs last year, and most of the people who attended were 40+. MEET WOMEN AT SPAS Men, if you are looking for a woman, go to a spa. I speak at Rancho La Puerta in Tecate, Mexico,

several times a year. The place is chock full of wonderful women, mostly over 40. Let me tell you, the few men who attend have amazing choices. I don't understand why more mature men do

not take advantage of spas; they're fabulous opportunities for singles. When you hang out informally with women and get to know them in classes and over group dinners, you have a great

chance to become friendly without too much pressure. From that experience, you would make an easier transition to dating. MEET AT A VOLUNTEER GIG If you're looking for someone with a

big heart, go to a place where big-hearted people go: Volunteer at a children's hospital, an environmental cleanup, a Habitat for Humanity build, or a political campaign. Not everyone

will be single, of course, but usually, many singles also attend specially announced events. If you don't meet anyone on the first couple times you volunteer, pick a new outlet for your

energies and see that one works better. You're doing good works; it's fine if you do them in a few new places to meet a few new faces. MEET ON ORGANIZED TRIPS Many college or

university alumni trips that happen when families can't come—after the school year starts, during winter and spring (but not the summer)—are popular with older singles. Chances are, you

could meet someone on one of these vacations, especially if they are educational tours or trips with a volunteer component. Of course there is always the chance you could meet The One in a

supermarket or library. That, however, takes a lot more guts. In those circumstances, too, it's hard to know whether the person you meet is actually single. Do I believe you can find

your one and only? Absolutely. Do I believe this can be an amazing person, truly worthy of your hopes and dreams? I do. Do I think it will be easy? Actually, no. But like anything, if you

work hard at it, you will succeed. YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: SINGLE AND MINGLE ONLINE COMMUNITY GROUP.