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COLUMNIST SAMANTHA DAVID EXPLAINS HOW HER PET WAS PICKED UP BY AN ASSOCIATION ONLY TO RETURN RIDDLED WITH THE PESTS  My cat has been camping out all summer with the feral cats in the

orchard.  I have watched her chasing sparrows round the cherry trees, stalking field mice though the long grass, lounging on top of the boundary wall, and rolling in the dust kicked up by

the sheep. Obviously, she is nuts. It is boiling hot out there and she's wearing a thick fur coat. But I don't mind if she does not want to come in, except for meals. It is her

business. She gets this sort of freedom because, in line with French law, she is microchipped.  To be honest, I was not convinced that this was truly necessary; she never goes far from the

house and she is very obviously a tabby mongrel.  I was wrong, however. I just had a call from a vet 25km away, saying that my cat had been found wandering. PICKED UP BY AN ASSOCIATION I was

amazed. She is so fat and lazy that even forcing herself through the cat flap is an effort. How on earth had she wandered 25km from home? After some discussion, the vet said the animal in

question had been found wandering in the Place de la Fontaine. Outside my front door in fact! (Probably having stolen too much cat food at the neighbour's house, she couldn't get

through the cat flap round the back.) "She was miaowing," said the vet disapprovingly. Read more: Woman loses pet dog in France - then finds it in Portugal "That's as may

be. But she is chipped, sterilised, vaccinated, and was sitting outside her own front door, so what is she doing in your surgery?" "The association ladies brought her to me to be

sterilised. But if there's been a mistake, you'll have to collect her." "I'm not driving a round-trip of 50km to collect a kidnapped cat! Get the association to

bring her back!" Sure enough, later that afternoon in strolled Fat Kitty complaining about the food at the vet and claiming to be starving hungry.  However, as she sat there scratching

one ear with her back foot, I realised I had made a mistake.  CAT FLEA TREATMENTS Last year, like a coward, I delayed treating her against fleas. Within 10 days the joint was jumping, and so

was I. The bites were intensely itchy and I was allergic. Off I had to go to the GP to explain myself. Awkward. I got the right creams and used every single product I could find on the cat.

Within a week we had stopped scratching, but visitors to the house were still being eaten to death. (I swore blind it was mosquitoes.)  It took forever to de-infest the house. You have to

hoover daily, which is an unbelievable pain in the derrière. You also have to put down flea powder, and wash all the loose covers and mop and hoover again and again. The trouble is, Kitty

resists being treated for fleas. That is why I put it off. She claws and bites. I really should have made the vet de-flea her before sending her home.