Reader TTS

But what is supposed to be a our weekly Punch and Judy show, a Wednesday morning intellectual joust showcasing the quick wit and incisive political insight of our leaders and betters, has

become a stodgy pudding of a thing, devoid of any vestige of fun and simply dialled in on both sides. The highpoint today seemed to be the PM and leader of the opposition arguing over maths,

like two third years spatting over who had got the best mark for trig.

God it was dull. A more conspiratorial correspondent might conclude the entire exercise was a misdirect, designed to bore the public so comprehensively as to distract from looking at the

performance of the nation's politicians at all.

Which would obviously be a boon to all elected members as few are covering themselves in glory right now. On the benches just to the right of Boris the Rt Honourable member for New Forest

West was slumped in near corpse-like repose. I think he spoke for us all.

And frankly, they've got to do better than this – the whole sorry lot of them.

Keir Starmer was near invisible. Choosing to go with a left-field attack that the recent loss of criminal records from the police computer was Boris's fault was an odd decision. A

catastrophic cock-up it undoubtedly is – and in any normal world someone would be picking up their P45.

But it's a good old-fashioned generic Whitehall cock-up – easy peasy for any PM to bodyswerve and blame our beloved faceless mandarins.

At which point the Leader of the Opposition sank into what appeared to be a teenage sulk an uttered not another word.

Well, it's not like the Government is about to imprison us all in our homes until April, or that our police have seemingly had their powers extended to Gestapo-like levels, or that the much

heralded vaccine seems to be running out, or that our cheery trading partner China seems to be enacting Holocaust II.

DON'T MISSBrexit fury: Fishermen told they are 'reaping what was sowed' [VIDEO]Brexit trade explosion: UK on brink of securing lucrative superdeal [JUST IN]Brussels diplomat says EU is 'not

punishing' Britain for Brexit [INSIGHT]

Much of the rest of the 45 ran perfectly for Boris. Everyone was “working around the clock” on everything, and every question, even the Labour ones which are, y'know, supposed to be a little

tough fell into the Prime Minister's lap like gifts from the spin doctor gods.

Boris was even saved from the full venom of SNP tormentor in chief Ian Blackford as his wifi mysteriously cut out mid-inquisition.

If this was Beijing or Moscow you'd be raising an eyebrow but this is Britain – conspiracy stuff like that would be FAR too interesting for this lot.

We use your sign-up to provide content in ways you've consented to and to improve our understanding of you. This may include adverts from us and 3rd parties based on our understanding. You

can unsubscribe at any time. Read our Privacy Policy

SEARCH

See today's front and back pages, download the newspaper, order back issues and use the historic Daily Express newspaper archive.