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But what is supposed to be a our weekly Punch and Judy show, a Wednesday morning intellectual joust showcasing the quick wit and incisive political insight of our leaders and betters, has

become a stodgy pudding of a thing, devoid of any vestige of fun and simply dialled in on both sides. The highpoint today seemed to be the PM and leader of the opposition arguing over maths,

like two third years spatting over who had got the best mark for trig. God it was dull. A more conspiratorial correspondent might conclude the entire exercise was a misdirect, designed to

bore the public so comprehensively as to distract from looking at the performance of the nation's politicians at all. Which would obviously be a boon to all elected members as few are

covering themselves in glory right now. On the benches just to the right of Boris the Rt Honourable member for New Forest West was slumped in near corpse-like repose. I think he spoke for us

all. And frankly, they've got to do better than this – the whole sorry lot of them. Keir Starmer was near invisible. Choosing to go with a left-field attack that the recent loss of

criminal records from the police computer was Boris's fault was an odd decision. A catastrophic cock-up it undoubtedly is – and in any normal world someone would be picking up their

P45. But it's a good old-fashioned generic Whitehall cock-up – easy peasy for any PM to bodyswerve and blame our beloved faceless mandarins. Which he did. At which point the Leader of

the Opposition sank into what appeared to be a teenage sulk an uttered not another word. Well, it's not like the Government is about to imprison us all in our homes until April, or that

our police have seemingly had their powers extended to Gestapo-like levels, or that the much heralded vaccine seems to be running out, or that our cheery trading partner China seems to be

enacting Holocaust II. Nope, there's nothing to see here. Move along. DON'T MISS BREXIT FURY: FISHERMEN TOLD THEY ARE 'REAPING WHAT WAS SOWED' [VIDEO] BREXIT TRADE

EXPLOSION: UK ON BRINK OF SECURING LUCRATIVE SUPERDEAL [JUST IN] BRUSSELS DIPLOMAT SAYS EU IS 'NOT PUNISHING' BRITAIN FOR BREXIT [INSIGHT] Much of the rest of the 45 ran perfectly

for Boris. Everyone was “working around the clock” on everything, and every question, even the Labour ones which are, y'know, supposed to be a little tough fell into the Prime

Minister's lap like gifts from the spin doctor gods. Boris was even saved from the full venom of SNP tormentor in chief Ian Blackford as his wifi mysteriously cut out mid-inquisition.

If this was Beijing or Moscow you'd be raising an eyebrow but this is Britain – conspiracy stuff like that would be FAR too interesting for this lot.