Reader TTS

Small point: for some reason the cover, unlike the first two, doesn’t mention the words “autobiography” or a “Volume” number. Anyway, I have been looking forward to reading this book for a

year. If it had followed the autobiographical arc of Baker’s first two volumes, it would have come out in time for Christmas 2016. But that was when he went into the jungle. Spoiler: If you

are looking for _I’m a Celebrity_ tales in this book you will look in vain. The programme doesn’t get a mention. Volume 1 – _Going to Sea in a Sieve_ – was hysterical. I had a train carriage

giggling away as I couldn’t restrain my peals of laughter. Baker began the second volume – _Going Off Alarming_ – by saying he wouldn’t be delving into all the television shows he worked

on. Oh. I was looking forward to that. On to Volume 3 and stories about Hughie Green (foul-mouthed and eccentric) and David Bowie (used to hang around in south London), Baker's idol.

Danny’s dad Fred known as Spud – the hero of Volume 1 – is back and the stories about him are probably the best part of the book. He would have been a shoo-in for _Gogglebox_ had it existed

in those days of just three channels. Spud dies in this volume but if you want a brief glance of the man, go to YouTube and search out Danny’s _This Is Your Life_. In the book he reveals

that his wife Wendy has a theory that those couples who pile on the PDAs on _This Is Your Life_ are destined for divorce. The Bakers were obviously keen to not test this theory as they

barely look at each other during the show, let alone hold hands. A good portion of the book is taken up with Danny’s cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment, which thankfully proved

successful. Danny has to be measured for a special mesh mask that he has to wear for the radiotherapy treatment. The mask is then bolted down so he cannot move his head even a millimetre

while the lasers do their work. When he arrives for the first treatment, another man is coughing his lungs up in the waiting room. After the first dose, Danny wonders what all the fuss is

about. Three weeks in, he knows only too well – exhibiting the same symptoms as the man. Even in this bleak situation, Danny finds humour. He can’t sleep with a light on or noise so having

to spend nights at the hospital as an inpatient is hellish for him. He persuades the nurses to let him sleep in a waiting room returning to the ward in the morning. When his fellow patients

ask where’s been, he tells them: “Home.” The book has some gossipy bits (Jonathan Ross and Chris Evans can’t stand the sight of each other and Danny got £5,000 for each episode of _TFI

Friday_), some fun bits, some moving bits and some sad bits. For me it is better than _Going Off Alarming_ but pales in comparison to _Going to Sea in a Sieve_. To use a music analogy,

there’s always that second difficult album and Baker overcame that but with _Going Off Alarming_, his third release hasn’t quite reached the dizzy heights of the platinum first album.