Relationships after cancer — how to get started dating

Relationships after cancer — how to get started dating


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"Understand your body, but also understand where you're coming from emotionally,” he says. “Someone might be looking for a fully developed relationship that might lead to marriage,


or they might be saying, ‘Hey, you know what, I just need someone to be with me.'” Consider issues you've had with dating in the past, he says, such as how you communicate or


feelings about your body. If you are ready for intimacy, don't be shy about gathering information on how to make it work. As cancer patients live longer, more resources are available to


improve the quality of their lives, including sexually. Don't worry that you're the only one who has a body that's not looking or working quite as it used to. "This is a


really common experience,” says Don Dizon, M.D., professor of medicine at Brown University and founder of the Sexual Health First Responders Program in Providence, Rhode Island. “If you


look at survey data, those who report some degree of sexual compromise is anywhere between 50 and 90 percent.” Physicians and patients rarely discuss relationships or sex because cancer


checkups are so focused on survival or treatment plans, Dizon says. Patients may be too distracted or embarrassed to ask questions, or think they are alone in having issues. A survey by the


health organization Livestrong found that fewer than half of patients bring up these issues, he says. "It's really not until people leave that room that they start thinking, Boy, I


really wanted to ask those other questions,” Dizon says. “We, as clinicians, assume things that are important will be brought to our attention by patients themselves, [but] when it comes to


sexual health, that's not going to happen.” DISCUSSING CANCER AND SEXUALITY For starters, he says, understand who you are as a sexual being. What's your perspective on dating and


sex? How do you respond to relationship cues? Are you able to communicate with a partner? Are you one to jump right into a relationship or expose your inner life slowly?