Reader TTS

Set up the party gently, though — no one responds well to being pushed. Have a picnic in your living room, perhaps, enhanced by champagne and good music. Or watch an erotic movie the night

before, then make a batch of mimosas when you get up the next morning and have breakfast in bed; after making love, suggest a shower and a bit of good old-fashioned lolling about (naked, of

course). Let your wife get comfortable with postcoital nudity, and she may become more comfortable with nudity in general. Just remember to keep things fun and playfully sexy. One night when

you cook dinner, for example, spice up the situation by sipping wine coolers and dressing in robes or pajamas — so much easier to shuck quickly than those pesky old street clothes. And by

all means, don't forget to verbally admire how good she looks in the altogether! Most of us are self-conscious about how we look disrobed, especially after the passage of a few years,

so heaping on the compliments may encourage repeat performances! Q: I LAUGH AT PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT OLDER PEOPLE CANNOT PERFORM. MY CURRENT BOYFRIEND IS 66 AND CAN LAST LONGER THAN ANY MAN

I HAVE KNOWN. THE LONGEST TIME HAS BEEN 40 MINUTES NONSTOP. A FEW TIMES I'VE EVEN HAD TO ASK FOR A BREAK! (SMILE.) SEX IS NECESSARY AND MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER ALL THE TIME. I STICK TO

ONE PARTNER AND HOPE TO GET MARRIED AGAIN ONE DAY. I AM 64 NOW. I AM SURE SOME MEN THINK I'M LYING ABOUT A 40-MINUTE LOVEMAKING SESSION, BUT WHY WOULD I? I AM NEVER TOO TIRED. QUITE THE

OPPOSITE, I GET ENERGIZED WHEN I AM GOING TO MAKE LOVE. A: You are a fortunate woman! (In fact, I half-expected your letter to include that famous advice-column punch line: "P.S.

Please excuse the shaky handwriting.") And you have had some lucky — and talented — partners. Your situation raises an interesting (and unsolved) question: Do some women and men simply

have an extra dose of estrogen or testosterone that makes them more interested in sex? Might they have a special kind of brain? Or do these differences have more to do with learned ability

and learned desire — that is, do some people enjoy sex more because they have had a lot of creative experiences with sex during their life cycle? Or because a particularly talented partner

brought out the best in them? That said, I am impressed that your current boyfriend can have sex for 40 minutes nonstop — I think he qualifies for the Sexual Olympics! At the same time, that

sort of stamina is not unheard of, so is he not a medical marvel but just a guy with good blood flow? One thing is clear: The two of you have an aptitude for picking partners with a

compatible sexual appetite. Just think what we could accomplish in the bedroom if we were: a) not conflicted about sex; b) not conflicted about how we look; c) talented at driving our

partners wild; and d) expert at knowing what it takes to drive ourselves into a sexual frenzy — and capable of communicating that knowledge to a new partner. I think it's great that you

enjoy sex so much and that you have found a partner to have a hot time with. I also wish more people would react as you have: Sex can and should energize us; when done correctly with the

right partner, it should add bliss, or at least a positive mood, for the rest of the day — possibly even the next few days. Sex is worth having and worth working on, if only for the

satisfied and reinvigorated feeling it leaves us with. ENJOY _REAL POSSIBILITIES_ SM WITH YOUR NEW MEMBERSHIP CARD