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WE GOT INTO THE HABIT OF SLEEPING IN SEPARATE BEDS, AS OUR KIDS COULDN’T SETTLE AT NIGHT AND THE YOUNGER ONE WOKE UP REGULARLY. I USUALLY SLEEP ON A SINGLE BED IN THE KIDS’ ROOM AND MY

HUSBAND STAYS IN OUR BED. I FIGURED IT WOULDN’T BE FOR EVER. DAILY RECORD 19:08, 28 May 2025Updated 06:37, 29 May 2025 DEAR COLEEN My husband and I are both 39 and have two young children.

The problem is, we’re in a sex rut (or no-sex rut) and have been for some time. We got into the habit of sleeping in separate beds, as our kids couldn’t settle at night and the younger one

woke up regularly. I usually sleep on a single bed in the kids’ room and my husband stays in our bed. I figured it wouldn’t be for ever. I’m tactile and affectionate by nature, but whenever

I go to hug or kiss my husband, he gets irritable, and his attitude is: “What’s the point?” if it doesn’t lead to sex. I’m just sick of being the only one who’s making an effort. Honestly, I

think we’ve started to resent each other, which is stopping us from getting closer. We’ve planned a weekend away for just the two of us. I was so looking forward to it, but now I’m feeling

“What’s the point?” because we’re not close and will probably end up arguing or not talking to each other at all. COLEEN SAYS What your husband needs to appreciate is that hugging and

kissing might not always lead to sex but does create intimacy and desire, which helps get your sex life back on track. Article continues below It’s difficult to go from no sex to great sex,

especially when there are issues and resentments that haven’t been talked about. You probably feel taken for granted and would love some romance back in your life. It’s easy for couples to

fall into this trap because working and looking after kids is all consuming, plus there’s all the other pressures of adulting like staying on top of the bills and the housework. It’s not

sexy and it’s exhausting, so romance slips way down the list. Which is why it’s so important to make the time and put the effort in to get the spark back. Article continues below This

weekend away is exactly what you need, so go into it positively. Just have fun being a couple and reconnecting. Enjoy a lovely meal together cooked by someone else, have a couple of lie-ins,

go for a romantic walk and watch a movie in bed. When you do have the big heart-to-heart, make sure part of the plan is dating each other again – do something nice together once a fortnight

or once a month. It doesn’t have to cost a lot, but it’s great to have things to get excited about.